I am beautiful.

Eight weeks ago, I had a baby. I gained 30-ish pounds during pregnancy and am currently six pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. In the comfort of my own home, I deem this a huge success. I'm not really dieting or cursing the scale. I'm actually proud of myself and how rockin' my bod looks in my yoga pants and t-shirts. Thanks to nursing, I have a pretty nice rack and my husband tells me I'm beautiful daily...and in our happy house...I believe him.

But then I go out in public...

I mean, did my post-baby bump and muffin top wait until I was out of the drive way to pop out of my too-tight pants? And on that note, I swear these pants fit at home!

The real world is harsh and full of assholes. Not once, not twice, but THRICE I was asked last weekend when I was due. Um...eight weeks ago...jerk! Seriously, did your mother not raise you right? NEVER ask a woman when she is due. Unless you see a baby exiting her personal area, just keep your mouth shut. Sorry, I digress...

I left the house that day in a cute little dress ( that was NOT maternity, mind you)  with my hair and make up actually done. I felt good about myself and was thinking I was adorable and then BAM, confidence shattered by a stranger. This got me thinking..

Why do I let the opinions of others affect how I feel about my physical self?

For years I've let people joke that I'm frumpy. What an awful word that is...frumpy. At first it was funny...but suddenly, I started to believe them. I allowed the back-handed compliments, ignorant comments, and unsolicited workout/diet advice lead me to believe that there was something wrong with how I look.  I became incredibly self-conscious about my weight...hair...skin...even my wardrobe. But...why?

Truth be told, I'm not frumpy.

I don't dress like they do on Vogue but I'm far from "mom jeans".  Even six pounds from my goal weight, I'm no where near overweight. I might not have a glowing tan but I also won't have skin cancer. I look nothing like the stereo-typical beauties on magazines or movies...but honestly, I don't want to. That's not me.

I don't want to count calories and miss out on yummy foods in an effort to be skinny. I like pizza and tacos and beer...and carbs, basically I really like carbs. I also don't want to live in a gym because I don't have time for that. Don't get me wrong, I think moderation and a healthy lifestyle are important...but there is no secret to being healthy. Don't constantly eat crap and get off your tail every once in a while! No need to obsess about it...just live it. Good food should be enjoyed and exercise should be fun. The number on the scale is irrelevant. Whether "my style" is in-style is irrelevant. All I want is to be a healthy, happy ME....the best version of ME.

This attitude change isn't only for me. More importantly, I have an awesome little girl that is starting to watch and mimic my every move. If I let the world beat me down...odds are she will too. And I will not have that. I want her to know she is beautiful but not because she is attractive...but because she is kind and smart and caring and funny and sweet. Pretty is as pretty does. I don't want her to put value in what "the world" deems beautiful...so...I accept the challenge of leading by example. The opinions of others...no matter how loudly shared...are not important. It is time to stop obsessing about the facets of beauty that are irrelevant and start putting value on what really matters.

Am I healthy? Am I happy? Am I kind?

Then I am beautiful!

#iambeautiful